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How to get through your divorce from a habitual liar

Divorce is rarely easy, but the complications of the process can be exacerbated when you’re dealing with a habitual liar or a narcissist. This type of individual will do anything and everything they can to try to “win” the divorce, which can make it nearly impossible to negotiate a fair resolution.

Many people who find themselves in this position end up caving on key divorce legal issues simply because they want to finalize their divorce as quickly as possible. While this might get you away from your spouse more quickly, it also jeopardizes your future, as it could leave you without the financial resources that you need to be stable post-divorce. It could also negatively impact your time with your child.

To avoid that from happening to you while still preventing trial, you’re going to have to find a way to communicate with your spouse. But how can you do that?

Tips for negotiating divorce settlement with a habitual liar

It’s not easy dealing with someone who lies all the time. But even when it seems impossible, there are tools you can utilize to make communication a bit easier, which could give you hope of resolving your divorce without the need for litigation. Here are some of those tools that you might be able to use in your divorce:

  • Have evidence to contradict them: What your spouse says might be persuasive to those who don’t know them, so you’ll need to make sure that the truth comes out. One of the best ways to do this is to have concrete evidence you can present that contradicts your spouse. This could include financial records, text messages, or even your child’s academic records, depending on the issue at hand. Be prepared to address every issue that could come up.
  • Reduce contact: Trying to correct your lying spouse can lead to tension and conflict that infects every aspect of your life, draining you of energy and happiness. But you can minimize the impact of communication with your spouse by reducing contact. You can do this by using your attorney as a conduit or finding other effective methods of communication that work for you. Just remember that reducing everything to writing is probably best, that way you can pin your spouse down on exactly what they said.
  • Gain perspective: Although it’s frustrating to deal with a lying spouse, there’s a reason why they lie so much. It could be a defense mechanism that they rely on to get them through the difficulties of divorce, or they might have a mental health condition that contributes to their lack of truthfulness. Having this perspective can make it easier to deal with them, even when they’re being difficult.
  • Write in a journal: A journal can be a great way to recount events when you need to, and they can capture other important events leading up to your divorce finalization, such as how your children react after spending time with the other parent. Turning to this journal during your divorce negotiations can help set the record straight.

Be confident walking into your divorce settlement negotiations

Preparing for your divorce negotiations is going to take some time, effort, and thoughtfulness. Although you might put off thinking about your divorce as much as possible, you shouldn’t. Instead, you should be proactive in developing your position. The earlier you do that the better, as it gives you time to modify your strategy if needed, and it can put your mind at ease.

The resulting confidence that you bring into your divorce case can give you a leg up, hopefully leading to the favorable outcome that you want. So, consider what you can do now to start preparing yourself for divorce.